The world lacks an appreciation for nuance and subtleties, the torturers love it and the tortured are left unattended. In a world overwhelmed with information, what draws our attention? Walking alongside our fascination with celebrity, is anger. The statistics easily provide the answer that we are eagerly awaiting: The next revelation of anger or vitriol that will be cast into the pool of "what to talk about".
This allows us to dig into our righteousness, take offense and wave our consternation at those parading their anger in full view. "How dare they?" The parties on either side will cast their meme's into social media, vilified in their persuasion, until the next angry voice rears its ugly head.
What remains brilliantly satisfied and delighted with its lack of attention, is the underground anger movement, or passive aggression. People who lean to expressing anger in this way roam freely, using others as their outlet of their inner rage. In the wake of this slithering psychology are people left scratching their heads wondering why they feel so beat up and unheard. In a lot of cases, left with a distorted reality by way of gas lighting*.
Our culture has fine tuned our attention to the loud voices and allowed passive aggression to seize it's day.
Do you feel like you've left situations where everything seemed to be your fault and the other had no accountability? In the midst of an argument, you hear the words, "I'm not angry". Likely, you are at the sinister receiving end of a passive aggressive whooping.
Don't think this is a wordy meme to cast passive aggressors in the "bad" people pile. Anger is human puss. It is our first reactionary outward expression that rises up to give us signs of our inner wounds.
Just as anger can be destructive it can be the catalyzing agent to our freedom.
Those that parade their puss in broad daylight offer us insight into their wounds. Those that lean heavily on passive aggressive behavior use the lack of attention on nuance to hide their wounds.
How do we help others who express the receiving end of a passive aggressive thumping?
Listen. In our culture, our attention wants the most bang for the buck we can get. Listening to someone who's been verbally or physically abused is easy. Listening to stories about manipulative behavior might not be.
I don't suggest this as a method of discipline, but rather an activity of attuning ourselves closer to knowing each other at deeper levels. In the process, we serve others and become people of greater depths. There is a ridiculous amount of beauty that lies in the nuance, that goes unappreciated.
How do we help ourselves in abusive situations?
Understand that anger is a natural human phenomenon. Those that use passive aggression try to spread a message that anger is a sign of a lack of character. A lack of character, regarding anger, is when someone uses anger only as a tool to whip others. Those who use anger as a method of their own transformation have amazing character.
Bring the behavior to light. Don't be bullied into believing you are wrong. If you are in an argument, know it always takes two people to argue.