The Crowbar Technique

Depositphotos 4756330 s"Geez, I tried to tell them how it is and they got all angry at me!"

When people begin to take a step into a different way of thinking they get quite happy to see that there is a new world that they are becoming aware.  This happened to me first when I started on the entrepreneurial path.  I'd try to provoke conversation with people that were hooked on the "job" path.  Often this brought tension and a lot of resistance. 

The truth is, we'd love to be able to speak to people about a truth we've found or point out their hypocrisy and have them see our perspective.  I call this the crowbar technique.  We're basically trying to remove or change beliefs with a metaphorical crowbar.

This is what happens on cable news channels as they spend so much time and effort trying to point out how the other party is wrong.  Another example is atheist whipping at believers with their findings about how they are wrong. 

This method doesn't work on many levels, but I'll start with how it affects you, when you try this route.  There you are, fresh out of a workshop where you've learned to challenge your beliefs and have come to know a deeper truth.  Then, you're on Facebook or speaking with someone and you'd love to use your new knowledge to switch on the light bulb in someone else.  You're trying to help them for God's sake.  

You share how they are limiting their thinking or point out how they're wrong.  Most of the time, this provokes a disagreement.  Then a stand off, with best case scenario, "let's agree to disagree".  

The part of this that causes us to limit our perspective is the loss of humility.  When we get into a battle with people over beliefs, we box ourselves into our position.  To allow even deeper truths to be revealed to us, practicing humility opens gateways for these revelations.  In this we become a good student, where listening is our greatest tool, we open ourselves to fall further down the rabbit hole.

Now how we affect others with the crowbar technique.  Everyone is on their own path.  If we truly have deeper truths that will help people, they must come to the person when they are ready.  It is a human trait to create beliefs that become our identity.  When someone tries to crowbar their belief system out of them, it leaves nothing for them to hang onto.  This plays out in our divisive culture all the time.  People try to show the hypocrisy and facts about their beliefs, wanting everyone to know this way.  This strategy is a path of diminishing returns and often has the recipient dig their heals in deeper.    

 This article isn't about silencing your truth.  In fact, I encourage everyone to speak their truth.  If you have a platform, it is your platform, speak away.  It is how we go about it that becomes the journey.  Wait for opportunities for teachable moments with people.  Getting into discussions where people basically write their belief, then cover their ears and hum "la la la la" without listening or interacting is useless anyway.  You might go to bed feeling like you won, but the win lives in your ego.  

"You are trying to expand conscious and truth, be the teacher when the student is ready to listen."

"Become the model of what you want to see in the world.  People do become curious when they are ready for change."

"Play nice." 

"Our culture believes candor and wit to be the way to win. Our culture created the problems that exist, we have to look for other ways of motivating and being."

"Consider everyone your teacher.  Our ego makes us measure ourselves constantly against others.  It will determine whether someone is further along or not.  Then dismiss anything they might present.  My greatest teachers have been people I've felt were the most asleep."

 

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