The repression of anger in our culture is the default method of dealing with it. Repressed anger becomes frozen and is expressed through passive aggression and isolation. Creating a relationship with anger doesn’t mean we get to wildly swing anger at people. It means that we deal with the roots of where anger originates. Anger then no longer is our traveling companion.

4 thoughts on “Good Relationship with Anger

  1. I believe handling it this way also builds trust. We are so scared to reveal our anger, it gets stuffed…and comes out sideways later. Stuffed anger never goes away and if not given a voice in the moment, or outlet, turns into something else. A dramatic illustration is in the movie “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.” The character Cadence has rage to the point it turns him into a “thing”. Destruction happens and in the end, since he could not process all of it, he was overtaken. (Don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t seen the movie). When I first saw it, I thought, “Yes, THAT is what it feels like!” Another movie that does a good job of illustrating anger that was never allowed its place is “Manchester by the Sea.” Powerful movie and again, I understood. We just are not hard wired to hold it in. And if we try, it is the psychological equivalent of Chinese foot binding.

    1. Yes. It’s a balance. In our culture, it’s generally a polarized issue. People on one side are deathly scared of saying anything in the fear of letting their anger loose. On the other side is the, “I just say it like it is” folks, where anger is never tempered or integrated.
      I think of anger as an alchemical tool.

  2. And L chemical tool as in the fire that melts the metal? I am highly curious about the technology of alchemy.

    1. Alchemy has been popularized mostly as the material understanding. The process that tried to turn something like lead into gold. Psychological alchemy is the process of purifying the soul. The book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, is good example of a fictional character being transformed through alchemy.

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